The Cruise
by stevesmopeds
Summary: In which the Brockmans take a cruise holiday. What could go wrong (or, more probably, what could go well)? Set summer at end of series 3 - Jake is 13, Ben 9 and Karen 7
1. Politics and Suitcases

**The Cruise **

**1\. Politics and Suitcases**

It was midday on the last Friday in July. The Brockmans would tonight leave for their long awaited cruise holiday around parts of the Northern Hemisphere. It was your average summer's day in South London; raining, slightly cold and windy, Sue for one couldn't wait to get on with the trip and reach sunnier and warmer climates. In an attempt to speed up the process of packing and leaving Ben had been banned from doing his own stuff since the last time he'd been trusted to pack for himself, he'd forgotten to bring any underpants or t-shirts. Pet and Sue hoped that any inevitable delay from a potential repetition had been avoided. It was also the day in which there were some political debates being broadcast on the TV so Karen was mindlessly packing and re-packing all afternoon, distracted by the debates going on. She liked giving her opinions on the Tories (her mother's party of choice) much to Sue's annoyance.

That evening, everyone was in the car ready to go. Everyone, that is, except Karen who was still to arrive at the car with her luggage. Sue was beginning to wish that she'd packed for her daughter like she had done for Ben. Both parents were also slightly angry at themselves for failing to keep the TV unplugged. Every time they'd tried to do so, Karen would plug it back in and tune in to the debates again.

"Pete! Go and see what she's up to!" Sue said, exasperated. They'd been waiting for 30 minutes by this point. At that current moment, Sue was concerned they'd miss the ferry. They'd not even set off yet and it was 6.30. The plan had been leave by 6ish, arrive in Southampton by 8 and grab a quick meal at a restaurant known for having parties in and out within 45 minutes if such speed was requested. That plan was out of the window now, though "At this rate we're barely going to even have time for a McDonald's! We have to be at the port by 9 if we want a good place in the car park queue!"

Pete reluctantly got out of the car and wandered back into the house "Karen! Where are...?" He was cut off mid sentence as it became obvious that his 7 year old daughter was again watching the politics unfold. "Karen, come on, aren't you packed yet?"

"Yes daddy," she replied, "I was just waiting for you and Mummy."

"We've all been waiting in the car for you for well over 30 minutes now! Come on! Where's your case?" he replied, getting a little annoyed

"By the blender in the kitchen daddy, can't we stay for one more argument on TV? This woman in the crowd just threw a shoe and a tomato at the BNP man!"

"Karen, if you come now, I promise that you can borrow my laptop when we get on the boat and connect to their internet to look back at what you missed, okay?" Karen nodded, so Pete turned off the television, picked up Karen's suitcase and led her out of the door, locking it behind him. The pair arrived back in the car to the end of Ben's question about who'd win in an ocean fight between a squid and an octopus. Pete looked at Sue with an expression of bewilderment. Sue simply shrugged and then drove off on the near-2hour journey to Southampton.


	2. Journey

**2\. Journey**

The travel to the port began quietly. The kids were distracted by the activities on offer. Ben was reading up on dinosaurs and how they aren't really dead and will take over, Jake was texting and listening to his iPod and Karen had borrowed Pete's phone and was keeping up with the latest developments in the debates on the BBC News website. About an hour into the journey, however, the kids were growing bored and began playing a game of 'who can scream the loudest?' However, after a few goes, Pete and Sue realised that Ben was quieting down.

"I feel sick, Mum!" He cried.

"Do you need us to pull over?" Sue enquired, worried. Ben had had a lot of chocolate throughout the day

"Nah, I think I'm ok," Ben replied.

Unfortunately, not long after that there was the all-too-familiar belch/cough/retching – 'puke is imminent' noise that Pete knew too well. He shouted at Sue to pull over quickly, but it was too late – Ben had projectile vomited all over the windscreen and over the dashboard. Luckily for Pete and Sue it was Ben's turn to sit in the middle seat, so they escaped with only a few drips of splash-back on their clothes rather than the full force that one of them might have had had Ben been on a window seat. Sue had by now pulled over, but before they could get out, Ben threw up again, this time all over the gearstick and handbrake.

"Sorry Mum, sorry Dad" Ben said, almost tearfully

"It's OK, Ben. It's not that bad." Sue replied, tending to Ben whilst Karen scrambled disgusted out the car and Jake helped Pete to clean up.

"Mummy will we be going to miss the boat?" Karen asked, "Because daddy said I could watch the government debates on his laptop when we get to the cabin. I've had a look on the internet on daddy's phone but it's not as good as seeing it on a TV or computer"

"No, dear, we'll be fine. Once daddy and Jake have finished cleaning and Ben feels OK we're going to get straight back to the journey, but we will have to get a late dinner on the boat now – can you hang on till then? We have packed some salt &amp; vinegar crisps and a few bottles of water in the glove box if you need some food"

"Yes mummy, okay. I think Ben's feeling better don't you?" Karen replied, pointing behind her mother. Sue looked over to see Ben re-enacting another Star Wars scene with a stick and a piece of road kill he'd found on the hard shoulder. '_Yes', _thought Sue, '_that boy is __**definitely**__ feeling better. Oh Jesus, is that a squirrel he's playing with?'_

A few minutes later, the car was cleaned, although a little smelly still, so the family continued on the journey with the windows open. After all the delays and traffic queues – the longest of which was just two miles outside of Southampton, it was about 9.45 when they finally joined the increasingly long line of cars waiting to go to the car park. Sue quickly popped out to see if any of the workers knew when they would get to park the car as her children were beginning to get restless – she was told it should only be about ten minutes but by now it'd maybe be a bit longer because they'd come at a peak time for parking up. When they'd eventually got into the car park Pete asked around if they could get the car cleaned. The man on the ticket booth said that usually it was not a service that they provided but in their case – there was still some puke stuck to the heater and in the CD drive – he was sure they could get one of the local trades in to do it. Pete thanked the man and left him with the spare set of keys. The family boarded the boat and felt that their holiday had now properly begun. Karen and Ben were overly impressed with the vast scale of the boat and the amount of amenities it came with. Jake was less impressed, but still looked happy when he wasn't texting


	3. The Deck

**3\. The Deck**

As they arrived on the level of the cabins, there was an announcement that declared cabins were unavailable for about another 45 minutes due to last minute cleaning with exception being granted to families with babies or children under 5 who needed their sleep. They could leave their bags just inside the cabins, however. Despite not having had a proper meal that evening, the family decided they weren't actually that hungry so they decided to just get some chips and a medium pizza and eat it on the outside deck as the boat pulled away from England. Karen and Ben played a game in which they tracked fellow passengers to see what they like to do on the decks of large ships and to find out interesting facts about them, whilst Jake texted his friends to ask what they were doing and if there was anything he'd be missing out on over the next few weeks. The cruise was going to be a long one – Sue and Pete had figured they deserved it and it was also a great activity for the kids to experience when they were still young enough to all want to go on family holidays.

"Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad!" Ben screamed as he ran across the deck back to his parents. "Karen's been sick! First it was me in the car and now it's her!"

"Oh for fu...lip's sake" Pete muttered as Sue and Jake looked on with slight grins, "Coming Karen!" as he ran back to Karen with Ben leading the way.

As soon as Pete was out of earshot, Sue and Jake could suppress their laughter no longer – it mightn't be funny to Pete, but they couldn't help but laugh at the situation – the two youngest children both throwing up within about three hours of each other. At least on the boat there'd be professional cleaning products and the outside deck was obviously far better ventilated than the car so the smell wouldn't hang on for too long. After a bit of help from other passengers and the cleaning team, Pete and Sue decided it was time to return to their cabin and go to bed for the night, as it'd been announced that all cabins were now available.

"I think I'll watch the government in the morning if that's ok daddy." Karen said sleepily, when they arrived again at their cabin – or 'home' for the next few weeks.

"That's very responsible and a mature thing to say sweetie" Pete replied, "You know you need your rest now, it's late as it is. Anyway, I'm sure that the debate highlights may even be on the news in the morning. They've made the TVs receive British channels wherever the ship is, all over the world"

"Thank you for helping me tonight daddy" Karen said as she fell asleep. It had been a long night for everyone and an interesting one to boot. It wasn't all that long before the rest were asleep. Pete and Sue had promised that the kids could explore the ship after breakfast.


	4. Exploration

**4\. Exploration**

The next morning, everyone was awake by about 8, except Jake. Ben decided to step on his brother's stomach to wake him. Jake awoke with a start and coughed and spluttered from the shock of the stamp – Pete was momentarily afraid of having to do his third clean-up operation in twelve hours, but nothing more came from Jake (apart from a deathly glare towards his younger brother). Karen had put on BBC News and luckily for her came across the previous night's debates. She giggled as the cameras replayed a fight between the Green Party candidate and a burly man from the audience.

A few minutes later Ben asked the inevitable question of curiosity "Mum, Dad, what are the stops on this cruise?"

Pete and Sue gathered the kids and explained that stops would include France, Spain, The Canary Islands, Italy, Greece, Cyprus and North African countries for the first 14 or so days, then after that the ship would take a few days on the Atlantic before spending another 14 days exploring the East Coast of America. They knew it was expensive (not revealing what they had paid), but Pete had just won £750,000 in the lottery and they deserved a family treat – even if it did mean 30-odd days together on a ship! Luckily they'd been able to secure one of the larger cabins so they weren't completely on top of each other. "And anyway, this is a bit like a mini version of one of daddy's previous ideas of taking a year out to explore the world." Sue finished.

By about 8.30 they were all hungry so they decided to go to one of the ship's many restaurants for breakfast. Despite them both being sick the previous evening Ben and Karen chose to have cereals high in sugar content, whilst the others went for warm croissants and butter, followed by Eggs Benedict for Sue and Jake.

When breakfast was over, they decided to explore the ship, Jake trailing behind listening to his iPod, Karen asking strangers what they thought of the electoral debates of the previous night and Ben running around in his own world up until the point he was so distracted that he didn't notice he'd run into one of the shops. Before anyone could stop him, he collided with a shelf, knocking off and breaking three glass jugs. He snapped out of the distraction immediately.

"BEN!" screamed Sue, "What were you doing?"

"Oops." He said, looking down at the shards of glass covering the floor

"I'm so sorry," Sue said to the shop assistant, "I don't know what came over him. How much do I owe you?"

"Never mind about it, it's only a few jugs" replied the assistant. "Boys will be boys"

"But... I insist. It's my fault really. I wasn't looking at what he was doing"

"No. Really, it's fine. No need to pay anything, go on and enjoy the cruise!"

"Well, if you're sure then. Thank you!" Sue picked Ben up from the floor and they walked out, both feeling a sense of relief. That feeling wasn't to last long though. Jake was missing.

"He was here a minute ago" said Karen, "then Ben fell over and broke the jugs and daddy and I were looking at the mess then daddy turned around and couldn't see Jake"

"Pete! You should have told me!" Sue said, almost angrily, "Well, we'll have to put an announcement over the PA. This ship is too large for us to explore without help. Let's find the helpdesk and wait there." Pete was obviously beginning to panic at the disappearance of his son and Sue wanted to try and keep things calm because otherwise Ben would go mad and Karen would probably go off on her own to look for Jake and get lost herself.

They got to the Helpdesk and over the PA requested the following announcement: "Could Jake Brockman please come to the Helpdesk on the fifth floor next to Red Sea Swimming Pool. That's Jake Brockman to the Helpdesk"

A few minutes passed before Jake returned. The family looked relieved to see him and it was Pete who spoke first.

"Hey Jake, where were you?"

"Oh, I just went to the toilet. I know I should have told you but I got desperate. I really had to pee"

"OK, but at least warn me next time, yeah?"

"Sure"

"Right kids, as we're just by the swimming pool, how's about we go in? I'll just pop back to the cabin to get the swimming bags"

"Well, actually Mummy, I don't think we should," Karen began, "I've heard on the news that sometimes swimming pools are dirty and that people pee in the water. I don't want to accidentally swallow any water with wee in it"

"Karen," Pete replied, "it's OK, that's just a rumour and in any case most pools now have something in them that detects the wee and turns the water a different colour so that you know where the urine is" he finished, perhaps fabricating the story a little – if only to make Karen co-operate. "And anyway, today is our first stop – later on this afternoon, the ship is pulling up in a French town called La Rochelle. We can get out and explore the castle and get some crepes and maybe some dinner. All we need to do is remember to be back on the ship by 8.30 so that it can set off again overnight to Spain. Okay?"

"Yes dad." The three children replied. The pool experience turned out to be quite fun, even if Karen was constantly scanning the pool for people peeing and after a quick sandwich for lunch, the family stepped off the boat and began to explore the town of La Rochelle.


	5. An Escape

**5\. An Escape**

The Brockmans stepped off the boat and wandered into the town. Karen and Ben had been complaining about feeling hungry, so the family found it best to find a small cafe where they could get some crepes and perhaps a coffee or two. However, this being the Brockmans, it was not going to go as well as they thought. About five minutes into the leisurely walk around town, Pete accidentally knocked over this woman and began to apologise in stilted and inaccurate French. He'd somehow managed to convince the woman that he was sorry for the actions of his parakeet. The woman looked at him as if he were crazy, but gave it no more thought. She'd concluded that they were just some insane British people who were trying too hard to mix in to their surroundings.

The family eventually found a cafe and Ben ordered a large, chocolate sauce crepe as did Karen, both once again seemingly forgetting that they'd been sick less than 24 hours previously. Jake was taking on the role of 'mature and responsible' thirteen year old and had so ordered a lemon &amp; sugar crepe and large coffee. He would later convince his parents that it helped him to deal with his siblings' hyperactive behaviour. Needless to say, the highly sugared chocolate sauce was beginning to take its toll on the two youngest Brockmans. Ben was tearing around the cafe attempting to sing 'Frere Jacques' (incorrectly, to the obvious annoyance of the local children) and Karen had begun to throw sugar cubes at her father, apparently in protest at a slightly and unintentionally sexist remark he'd made after the rude, confused looks he'd gotten from the woman he'd knocked down.

"KAREN! I've told you so many times to NOT throw things at your father!" Sue said, agitated.

"You said not to throw _fruit. _Sugar is not fruit" Karen replied, sarcastically.

"Don't be cheeky to your mother, Karen;" snapped Pete, "it's not right to throw anything at anyone... hang on, Sue, where's Ben gone?"

Ben had disappeared; '_another loss of a male offspring in the same day'_ thought Pete, annoyed and scared.

"Well, dear," Sue chimed in, apparently reading her husband's thoughts, "Jake didn't necessarily disappear; he just negated to tell you what he was doing..."

Pete ignored that attempt at comfort and though it better that they tried to ask around to see if anyone in the cafe had seen Ben leave in the direction of anywhere. Due to the language barrier, they couldn't make the others understand; the majority pointed at Jake as if to say "He's right with you...!"

"Well thank you all for your most helpful input" Pete muttered to himself. He was again aware that he was being pelted by Karen's skilled and direct throwing of sugar cubes.

"KAREN!" Sue yelled, "WHAT DID WE JUST SAY EARLIER?"

"Daddy was being racist about the French people over there," Karen said simply, attempting to defend her actions, "he said that they couldn't understand him because they're French and also he was annoyed"

"He didn't exactly go into that much detail and anyway, he's only annoyed because Ben's gone missing in a foreign country." Sue replied, and then to her husband – "Darling, check the toilet, that's where Jake was earlier, remember."

"They're very nice people too" Karen emphasised. Sue gave her a look, clearly saying "s_hut up now."_

"No luck!" Pete panicked as he returned. "Let's pay up and get out of here then look for him. He can't have gone far..." he finished, knowing full well that he could be about to be proved completely wrong.

Once outside, Sue looked at the map they'd been given as they left the boat, "Right, then, these two streets in front of us meet up again in about a mile. We'll split and each pair will take a fork. Jake come with me and Karen go with daddy."

"What if he's racist again?" Karen chirped "I don't want to be embarrassed"

"What daddy said was not racist, dear. Just go with him. It'll be OK" replied Sue, getting agitated

"But..."

"Karen..."

"Alright then" Karen sighed.

They looked inside each and every shop and down the alleyways, but when they'd met up about half an hour later, they learned that none of them had yet had any luck. Pete and Sue were beginning to panic more and more and by now Jake and Karen were becoming growingly concerned. It was a couple of minutes later that Jake had a thought.

"Why don't we check out the castle?" he said, gesturing at the building a couple of miles away, "Ben's got into medieval history recently and if he thinks the castle is from that era then he may have gone on. You said we'd be going there anyway..."

It was the best idea any of them had had, so off they went. When they arrived, Sue took out a picture of Ben and attempted to ask if anyone had seen him. A couple in their mid 60s thought they'd seen someone a bit like Ben – at least that's what Sue thought they'd meant using their limited English skills – but they couldn't remember where it had been that they'd seen him. Just as the parents were beginning to shout for Ben he appeared from behind one of the castle's internal walls, holding a large stick in one hand and a sizeable rock in the other, declaring himself as General Brockman of the 1650s.

"BEN!" yelled Pete, relieved "where have you been?"

"Well, you and mum were shouting at Karen and I looked outside and saw the castle," he lied. The castle was not in sight from the cafe. Pete explained this to Ben and the boy sighed, "oh alright then. I was bored so I went exploring. Is that a crime?"

"Well, technically no, but..." Pete started.

"It's not illegal, no," Sue finished, "but you did give us all a terrible fright. Why didn't you say anything? We've looked all over for you"

"Well, I thought you'd take a long time with Karen, so I just went ahead and came to the castle. It's very old and cool. Anyway, I thought you said we were coming here, so I assumed you'd realise that I was here, just that I'd be there before you..." he replied calmly, not exhibiting any of the panic that the rest had been experiencing. "Anyway, can we find a place for dinner soon, I'm hungry."

"We'll eat on the boat. It'll be too late to find anywhere now where we'd finish before 8." Sue replied "Let's just look around here a bit and then head back to the boat". They did just that and got a late coffee and croissant and were back on the boat by six as they were aware that they probably couldn't go back to La Rochelle and that cafe with all that had happened.


	6. Choppy Waters

**6\. Choppy Waters**

Once back on the boat, the family decided to try out the Chinese cuisine restaurant for dinner. It was as the boat set off again that Pete explained to the kids that they would tonight be heading through the Bay of Biscay which is a notoriously choppy stretch of water, so they might very well feel the boat moving more than they'd experienced since arriving. With the sugary pancakes the kids had had, he was slightly worried about having a similar experience to last night – '_and anyway_,' he thought, '_if Karen is sick on relatively calm waters, what'll she be like tonight? Oh dear god...'_ He thought it best to stop scaring himself and just wait the night out and see what happens.

The boat moved on and on, through the waters of the Bay. The seas got rougher and rougher. Pete was convinced that he could see Karen's face turning ever more green and/or pale, but for the moment at least it was just his imagination.

"Hey, mum," Jake said to Sue, "d'you think it's my turn to throw up tonight?"

Sue laughed, "It's been barely twenty-four hours since your dad's first clean up, let's not torture the poor man too much..."

"OK, guess you're right," he laughed back. Then, "Oh hell, looks like Karen's not heard the plans to give dad a break from vomit cleaning..."

Jake was correct. Karen had by now turned quite an alarming shade of green. She called for her father as she ran into the cabin's en-suite. Pete and Sue grimaced at each other as they quickly followed her in. Jake looked on with pity, but Ben was rolling on the floor in fits of giggles and struggling to breathe as a consequence.

"BEN!" Jake shouted, "It's not funny!"

"Yes it is," he replied, unable to get it out in a coherent fashion because of his laughter.

"Imagine how mum and dad are feeling with this happening 2 nights in a row. And Karen for that matter," Jake retorted.

"But last night when Karen was sick, I saw you and mum laughing," Ben said, "so why is it different tonight?"

"Because last night it just seemed a bit funny that the two of you had been sick within a few hours of each other but this is more of a disturbing pattern" Jake replied, trying to be mature. However, by now, even he was struggling not to laugh, but decided against it so as not to seem hypocritical.

"Mum! I need the toilet!" Ben called into the bathroom

"This one's kind of out of bounds at the moment darling!" Sue replied, "There's one at the end of the corridor outside the cabin when you turn left"

Off Ben went, leaving the door slightly open, and arrived back a few minutes later to a question from his brother "What kept you so long? The toilets are only a few doors down?"

"Well," Ben started, "first I had to pee, but then I got a stomach ache so... "

Jake interrupted, "Actually never mind. I know where this is going..." '_Trust Ben to mention the unmentionable' he thought to himself._ Then, into the cabin's bathroom, he shouted "How's Karen doing?"

His answer was soon given. The toilet flushed, and Karen, Sue and Pete stepped out. "She's OK now," they said together,

"I want to go on the deck now," Karen said, seemingly very chirpy.

"Well, OK, if you're up to it. Come on boys," Sue replied, and then to Pete she whispered "looks like it was just a clean-out as much as anything else, she and Ben have especially had a lot to eat. Surprised he's done so well. She's less pale now anyway, she'll be fine... hopefully."

Jake decided to keep it to himself that Ben had been a while in the toilets when Karen was throwing up. He felt it best to not worry his parents any more than they might have been. The deck was pretty empty due to the rough waves, but not yet closed off health and safety reasons were not quite met yet. The fresh air did some good to Karen, who was soon running around as part of the family game of tag (which she requested to make her feel better). It was almost 11 o'clock before anyone realised the time and the family returned to the cabin. It was not to be a comfortable night, though, as the waves picked up. All the family, especially Ben (who probably exaggerated it a little), were thrown from their beds a few times. No-one was particularly hurt, but a few bruises would show themselves in the morning. At around 3a.m. a general announcement came through that the boat would be slowing to negotiate the exceptionally rough seas and that also the deck was off limits due to safety concerns. This gave the Brockmans peace of mind as they finally settled down to sleep properly.

The next morning, the seas had calmed and the boat was travelling along the northern coast of Spain and would soon stop at its next destination, Santander. Luckily for Pete and Sue, this leg if the trip passed without incidents, as all of the kids were relatively well behaved and they were able to enjoy the time in the town as a family, including sandwiches and ice cream on the beach in the afternoon. Ben was distracted looking in rock pools with his brother and Karen busied herself with sandcastles. It was the first time that Sue and Pete felt they were 100% relaxed on the holiday. They even found the time to sneak off for a quick coffee, leaving the kids under the watchful eye of their new friends – the couple from the cabin next door who'd also decided to spend a few hours on the beach.

However perfect and surprisingly uneventful this day had been, the adults were worried for the next day. The ship wasn't going to stop anywhere as its next destination was on the Algarve in Portugal. That's an entire day on a ship with their... unusual children. Would Ben break anything? Would Karen go into one of her complicated rants on legal issues, suspicious people, etc? Would Jake spend the entire day with his earphones in or, worse, arguing with Ben or Pete? They re-boarded the boat with the kids – growing increasingly fearful that their worries would be met. That night was also uneventful as no-one was sick. No-one gets sea sick after all, Pete and Sue hoped.


	7. Morality and Sharks

**7\. Morality and Sharks**

The next day, one of the parents' worries manifested itself all too quickly for Sue. The family had just arrived at their breakfast table when Karen addressed her mother with a concern regarding the previous day.

Karen had just ordered a Full English breakfast when she addressed her mother, "Mummy," she started, as Sue gave Pete a knowing glance, "you and daddy did a bad thing yesterday. You left me and Ben and Jake alone on the beach to go and have a drink. That's when children go missing and never return. I heard it on the news before. It does happen and anyway some people said it's more likely to happen in a foreign country."

"Karen, darling," Sue replied, "firstly, to say it's more likely that you'd be taken or go missing abroad is a bit stereotypical. Secondly, we left you for a bit, yes, but that nice couple from the next cabin were watching you and anyway..."

"But Mummy," Karen interrupted, "they're not our official guardians and we're too young to be left alone at our age. Jake's not even sixteen yet, he's only thirteen. Ben's nine and I'm seven. What if there'd been an accident like us being eaten by sharks. We wouldn't have been able to survive and you wouldn't have been there to save us because you went off to drink coffee which you think is more important than your children getting eaten by sharks. Parents have a duty of care for their children, not for some silly drink like coffee. Coffee's disgusting, you should have drunk more sensible drinks like squash or juice, not coffee. Coffee's full of caffeine which is bad for you. Also you should have brought the drinks onto the beach where you could see us and save us from evil attack sharks"

"Karen. The number of sharks in North Spain isn't very many and anyway, they've never been spotted at the beach we were at. Furthermore, as I was going to say before you interrupted me, the cafe daddy and me chose was very close to the beach and we could see you at all times." Sue said, reassuringly. "And anyway, Spanish coffee's fantastic and sometimes having caffeine is necessary to keep me and daddy awake and alert to when you three are going crazy" she muttered to herself.

"Yes, well, even if there have never been any sharks spotted at the beach where we were, that doesn't mean there might not have been some yesterday. You can't have been looking at us all the time because when you were talking to the waiter for ordering you were looking at him not us and when you were drinking your coffee you couldn't have been looking at us because when you are drinking you nearly always are looking at bottom of the cup" Karen continued, deep into her argument, "and it might have been then when the sharks came and savaged us, for all you know and you wouldn't have realised and even if you had, you'd have been too late by the time you got there."

"OK Karen, maybe we weren't looking at you three for 100% of the time, but you're okay aren't you?" Pete chimed in, attempting to break up the spiralling discussion. "Mummy and I promise that we won't do something like that again, don't we mummy?"

"Yes, darling, we do. It won't happen again." Sue added.

"I'm going to write that down and make you sign it when we get back to the cabin." Karen replied, still in her legal element.

"'Thank you mummy and daddy for addressing my concern and taking future action, I really appreciate what you've done for me'" Pete whispered under his breath to Sue, who laughed quietly at her husband's sarcastic, mocking comment. The breakfasts arrived at last and the family was quiet for a while.

"What are we going to do today?" Jake asked, desperate to get away from the legal interests of Karen. They eventually agreed as a family to go onto the deck and look for sea life as they planned the rest of the day.

"What if sharks attack me, Ben and Jake when you aren't looking?" Karen asked Sue, who sighed.

"Can we kill a fish and take it to the cabin and see how fast it decomposes?" Ben asked, "It **is **scientific." he added quickly to defend his love of dead animals and their rates of decomposition. He'd had some experience in the past, with birds and frogs.

Jake grunted, and took up his ever increasing responsible role, "Karen there is a very little chance of shark attack as we're quite a way above the water. Ben, no you can't get a fish from this high up and even if you could, it's not going in the cabin with us. It'd stink!"

Ben ignored Jake's comments and went on a walk looking for dead birds or sea life. He returned a while later holding a dead seagull. "Please mum and dad can I take this with me for experimenting and seeing what it died from?" he asked but got no 'yes' votes, with both Pete and Sue defending Jake's comments on the smell of the decomposing animal.

"Anyway, it probably died of attack by a savage shark and the shark might have seen us and be waiting for when mummy and daddy's backs are turned before it comes for me and Ben and Jake..." Karen declared, glaring at her mother.

"KAREN WILL YOU PLEASE STOP BANGING ON ABOUT SHARK ATTACKS?" Sue yelled, "The bird probably died of old age or a heart attack. If it **had **been the victim of a shark, then it'd be covered in blood and tooth marks and would frankly not look very bird-like anymore."

After being yelled at in a surprisingly very public way, Karen ran off and hid from her mother. '_Great!_' Sue thought sarcastically to herself. "Come on Pete, Jake, Ben, we'd better look for her..." she said to her family and, confidentially to Pete she finished, "I knew that yesterday's calm day was going to be a bizarre blip in the holiday." Pete could do nothing but agree and nodded at his wife as they scrambled off to look for their daughter. She was found 10 minutes later after the deck search proved fruitless and Pete suggested they look for her outside their cabin.

"Karen!" he started, "What are you doing here?"

"I got embarrassed when mummy shouted and so I ran off," she replied, "then I remembered that I had to write down the promise that you made at breakfast about the sharks. So I came down here and waited for you to come and open the door so that I could write the promise down on a piece of paper and make you and mummy sign it."

"Well, darling," Pete replied, relieved to have found Karen safe, "let's go and get the promise written up!", he opened the door to the room and Karen headed straight for the desk and wrote up the following; _We, Peter and Susan Brockman promise to not leave our children alone again on this holiday in case of attack by sharks or any other problems that might happen, signed on this day by Peter and Susan Brockman, parents and __legal__ guardians of Karen, Jake and Benjamin Brockman._

'_When she ran off, she wasn't keeping the promise. It's all one rule for one and another rule for another with her' _Pete thought to himself as he signed the document, a glance at his wife showed that she was having similar thoughts too.

"Done?" Karen asked, after a couple of minutes. Sue and Pete handed back the legal document to Karen, "Good," she continued, "I'm going to put this on the wall with a bit of Blu-Tack. Can you also sign these copies I made for you to keep in your pocket or bag so that you always have a copy of the promise with you so that the promise is always valid and unbreakable?"

"She's really thought this through well hasn't she?" Jake asked cheekily. He was met with glares from his parents that were obviously saying _don't start, don't encourage her, she doesn't need it. She knows too much already, thank you._

"Hang on a minute," Jake continued, "stop signing stuff. What's Ben got?"


	8. The Seagulls

**8\. The Seagulls**

"What's Ben got?" As soon as he heard his brother utter the question, Ben tried to sneak off into the bathroom with the intention of locking it behind him. Unfortunately for him, he was too slow. Sue noticed just in time and stuck her foot in the doorframe so the door remained open. She managed to get through to the bathroom despite Ben attempting to push the door shut. In the struggle, it was revealed what he'd had as he'd dropped it onto the floor. Pete dived in and picked it up. It was the seagull from the deck.

"Ben!" Sue began, "What did we say on the deck? We said NOT to take the seagull with you back here."

"Actually, Jake said that, you didn't. I thought you might be ok with it." Ben replied

"No Ben, if you remember, we all objected. Anyway, when did you get it? We saw you put it down"

Ben refused to answer this question and instead carried on with another argument, "Well, we might as well keep it and experiment on it now. Now that it's here I mean," he said.

"No Ben, definitely not, daddy will take this back up now and throw it into the sea" Sue asserted

"No mummy, don't do that. It might get eaten by sharks!" Karen butted in, with Ben nodding in agreement

"WHAT DID WE SAY ABOUT DROPPING THE SUBJECT OF SHARKS KAREN?" Sue snapped.

Karen looked shocked and kept quiet as Ben finally lost control of his seagull and Sue gave it to Pete to throw into the sea. Pete returned a few minutes later and suggested that the family explore some more of the onboard shops or, at least, anything that didn't involve the deck and/or dead animals. Upon entering the toy shop, Pete noticed a toy seagull.

"Look, Ben, there's a seagull you can experiment on" he said, jokily.

"It's not real," Ben stated matter of factly "all that's inside of that is fluff". He walked out of the shop and asked if it was time for lunch yet. It was, so they chose the French restaurant and had omelettes and fries, a meal over which Karen worried that the eggs would be from battery hens and Ben theorized that the eggs were from hens that lived on the sea.

"Karen," Jake began, attempting to calm his sister, "these eggs are from organic hens from France. When we stopped there the other day, the chefs got off the boat and selected the best from the hen fields, okay?"

Karen nodded, relieved, and Sue and Pete silently thanked Jake for taking away the potential of another argument on the scale of the earlier one on sharks.

Ben, realising his fight was lost on the seagulls, asked if they could ask the kitchen staff for some of the eggs so that he could experiment on them by attempting to nurture them into chicks. Once again his attempts at scientific enquiry were rejected, on the basis of the low probability of the egg becoming a chick as it'd been kept too cold for too long and also as a consequence of the fact that the eggs may go bad over the course of his estimated project timeline (about a week).

Eventually Pete and Sue got a bit fed up with Karen's shark obsessions and Ben's experiments, so they decided to put the kids in the on-ship cinema under the watch of Jake and the cinema attendants (only after they'd produced identification documents to satisfy Karen that they could be left alone with them). With the two hours or so of free time they got, Pete and Sue went to the bar and drank their troubles away, before going back to the cabin alone...

Meanwhile, a couple of floors up, Ben had snuck out of the movie theatre and onto the deck again to look for more experiment opportunities. He climbed the ship's outer decks, and managed to get to one of the highest parts, where he began to clamber back onto the rails...

Back inside the ship Pete and Sue realised it was time to go and collect their kids from the cinema room, where they were told of the escape of Ben, and how he'd been seen heading for the deck. Pete and Sue looked at each other with expressions suggesting they knew what they were going to find. They corralled Jake and Karen out of the theatre and onto the deck.


	9. Ship Science

**9\. Ship Science**

Ben jumped down from the railings with his pockets full of various pieces of litter and other paraphernalia that the sea had dumped on the deck earlier on that day. He turned the corner to look for more and bumped into his family.

"Ben!" Pete cried, "What are you doing? We were worried sick"

"Collecting some things," the boy replied, "for science" he added, quickly

"What do you mean by 'things'?" Sue asked.

Ben ignored the question and walked off in the direction of a door back inside the ship. Pete sighed and signalled to Sue, Karen and Jake to follow him. They caught up with Ben a couple of minutes later as he turned down the corridor to their cabin. Once inside, Ben produced his haul. He had collected some cigarette ends, a fish skeleton, a half-eaten burger, the front page of a magazine and several small pebbles. He set the lot down on the surface in the bathroom and reached into his other pocket and picked out a cigarette lighter. He then started to set fire to the cigarettes…

"NO!" Sue and Pete screamed in unison as Jake dived to grab the lighter

"What?" Ben asked, innocently, "It's only science, there's nothing wrong with it!"

Karen huffed and again showed herself to be wiser than her age might suggest, "If you burn down the cabin Ben then we'll be asked to leave the ship forever and then the fire brigade will have to come and put out the fire which will cost hundreds of pounds and then the ship builder people will have to replace the room and any other parts that get burned down. Mummy and Daddy will be charged thousands of pounds for the repair and it'll be your fault and also the ship will have to close while they're fixing it which means that everyone else's holiday will be ruined."

Pete looked at Sue with an expression of pure amazement as Ben meekly apologised to his parents. Meanwhile, Jake had been collecting the stuff up but got distracted when his phone rang.

"Mikey!" he exclaimed as he answered, dropping Ben's collection over the floor "Nah, mate, I'm on holiday with my family, didn't I tell you? Uh huh… yup… mmhm... Okay, bye." As he hung up, Jake looked slightly depressed and walked over to his bunk bed and began to play with his phone.

"Jake?" Sue began, but as her son turned his head away, Pete advised her to not continue. They decided to leave Jake alone for a while and took Ben and Karen up to the café, dumping Ben's latest experiment equipment in a bin on the way.

"So," Ben said as he began his juice, "what CAN I do an experiment with on here?"

"I don't know dear, what about watching how the weather changes as we move around?" Sue suggested.

"Good idea," Pete said, "it's quiet, free and won't have any damaging impacts"

Ben rolled his eyes, obviously not happy with that particular suggestion, but was soon distracted when the waiter presented him with his giant pepperoni pizza with extra cheese – an order that completely overshadowed the sandwiches everyone else had ordered. A few moments later Jake wandered up to the table, still looking rather upset. Pete was about to ask what was wrong, but a subtle glance from his wife told him otherwise – Jake would tell when he felt he was ready to. The boat was due to stop in the Alagarve but Karen and Ben had refused to get out because of the Madeline McCann situation. No amount of parental persuasion would change their minds, so it would be another day or so on the ship before their next destination.

"So, kids," Sue said, as the plates were cleared away, "the next stop is Greece!"

"What, like the movie?" Karen asked, innocently. Jake smirked at this inane question, as Pete and Sue sighed with relief – whatever was troubling Jake couldn't be that bad…. Could it?!


	10. The Olympics

**10\. The Olympics**

A couple of days had passed relatively incident free (although Karen had challenged the waiters on their personal hygiene after she saw one of them cough near an elderly woman), then the boat stopped close to Olympia, the destination of the very first Olympic Games. Those who wanted to get off would be put into a couple of coaches which would take them inland to the ancient city.

"Well, kids," Pete announced, as they arrived in the city, "this is the site of the very first Olympic Games. They happened in around 770BC…"

"What's BC daddy?" Karen asked

"It means 'Before Christ', so it happened 770 years before the year 0 or the year Jesus was born." Sue explained.

"Thank you dear," Pete continued, "anyway, it was a bit similar to the Olympics that we know today – they had running, javelin, discus and wrestling. However, they also had different things like chariot racing, but there was no diving or football or anything like that."

At this point Jake made a sarcastic comment about his father teaching history even in summer holidays but any reply was immediately stopped because Ben had thrown a large rock in Karen's direction, missing her head by a matter of inches. Karen immediately screamed and began to cry.

"Oops!" Ben exclaimed, as he picked up another – smaller – rock to throw. He put it down when he saw the deathly glare both parents (and Jake) were giving him. Karen had stopped crying but she was still visibly shocked and scared by what had almost happened to her.

"BEN, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?" Pete screamed, "KAREN COULD HAVE BEEN REALLY BADLY HURT"

"The Olympics," he replied, as if he'd been asked the world's stupidest question, "and that was the practise discus round. You'll be pleased to know I won" he continued, unabashed by the near-injury he'd caused.

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER BEN," Sue shouted "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT. NOW APOLOGISE TO KARN"

"Sorry Karen," he said meekly "I won't do it again"

Karen nodded and smiled slightly, apparently having forgiven him. Pete and Sue smiled at each other and continued on their walk around the town. They had an impromptu 100 meter race across part of the believed site of the Games, which they let Karen win to cheer her up, she accepted Ben's congratulatory high five. Their parents smiled at the reconciliation and decided it was time that the family walked off to the nearest café to get some ice cream. A few minutes later Jake's mobile phone buzzed. He got it out, looked at it and changed his expression from normal-moody-teenager to one of sadness.

"What's up J-man?" Pete asked, trying to use humorous names to cheer his son up

"Nothing," Jake mumbled. He sniffed and let out a few silent tears. Ben quickly snatched his brother's phone and read the text from Jake's girlfriend: _Hey Jake, know you're on your hols but I have something to tell you. The _other_ night I was at McDonald's with some of our friends. Mikey was one of them and we began to talk. After a while he asked me out and I said yes so it's over between us. Can we still be friends? Xxx. _

Near to the end, Ben's voice began to fade away, knowing that the situation was fairly icy for a boy of Jake's age. The rest of the family looked pitifully towards Jake and Karen moved in to give him a reassuring sisterly hug. Usually Jake would probably have pushed his sister away but, this time, he didn't resist and let Karen carry on as he failed to hold himself together and let his feelings out in tears. Karen patted his shoulder and backed off slowly, not really knowing what to do. She looked to her mother for some idea, but Sue simply shrugged.

"Come on," Pete whispered to Sue and the two younger children, "let's back off a minute and give the boy some space." They retreated a few meters and – once out of Jake's earshot – tried to work out what was the best thing to do. Eventually, it was decided that they'd just go back on to the boat and see where it went from there. It looked like once again they'd have to leave Jake in the cabin alone for a while. It was at this point when Sue wondered if the issue that had been troubling Jake after Mikey phoned a few days ago was in any way linked to this current situation – and her motherly conscience told her she was correct.

About 20 minutes later – after Ben had attempted and failed to demonstrate Olympic wrestling on his father – Sue calmly walked over to Jake and asked if he was okay to go back. He was, so the family wandered back towards the ship. Ben, Karen and Pete hung back a few yards so that Sue could talk to, and comfort, her 13 year old son.

"Jake," she said, soothingly, "Is this incident related to the phone call you got from Mike the other day?"

Jake nodded slightly and whispered, "He said that everyone was going to town to see Inception and then go to McDonald's for Matt's birthday"

"Ah." Sue sighed, now aware of the issues that had been troubling Jake recently, not knowing what else to say. They got back on the boat and realised that they'd next stop in Tunis – capital of Tunisia After this, and a couple other stops in Italy and Spain, it was the bit of the holiday that Pete and Sue were dreading most – the week-long trip across the Atlantic to Miami.


End file.
